Some thoughts on the concept of “ try ”:
If you say that you’ll “try” to do something: you start out with the possibility of failure.
It’s a way of setting up an excuse and thereby makes it easier to accept failure. However, if you set your mind to do your best, then failure is only possible if you are lazy or insincere.
For example: Someone asks you to build a wall in 2 days. If you say “I will try” and you don’t get it finished then you have failed. If you say “I will do my best” and you don’t complete the wall but you did give it your best, then you have not failed. In both cases the wall wasn’t completed so the larger goal wasn’t achieved; however, in the second case you feel better because you didn’t just fail. Think about whether you would rather say in hindsight: I tried, but didn’t get it finished (failure); or, I did my best (exactly what you set out to do), and feel good about it.
It is almost as if the word “try” is used as a rationale for lack of success. Why start anything out halfway to failure. You may be thinking: “Ok, so as long as I do my best it is ok to fail…..”. This is a defeatist attitude. Failure is ok. It is part of life. To attempt something and do your very best is all anyone can ever ask of you. Only you and God know for sure if you gave it your all.
Setting out to do your best and saying it is a way of keeping yourself honest; if you don’t do your best (are you slack, unmotivated, lazy, a bum?) then you can’t honestly say you did. All you can say is “I tried” (but how hard?).
If you want to maximize your chances of completing a task, don’t even consider failure as a possibility when you start it. Remember what that wise old sage Yoda said to Luke Skywalker: “…try not. Do or do not. There is no try”.
stw
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
The secret of happiness?
Anyone who has gotten an email from me in the last year or so may have noticed the signature saying I use at the end of my messages: Be nice, work hard, never take more then you need, give freely, be thankful for what you are given, and have fun........
M&JW are my parents Marilyn and Jack Wheeler. These are things that I learned from them about how to live a good life and how I hope I live mine:
Both my parents stressed that we should always be nice to everyone and everything. Don't be mean or cruel ever. Treat others the way you like to be treated.......golden rule type thing.
I definitely got my work ethic from my folks. Mom was a professional. She graduated from a 4 year nursing program and was a Registered Nurse. She was also a full time housewife and mother. Dinner was always on the table at 5:30 on the dot. She washed and cleaned house daily. Dad has always defined himself (like most men) by his work and whatever he needed to do to provide for his family. And he did always manage to provide for us. If he wasn't working at the office he was working around the house. Dad has never been a "couch potato". No matter how difficult things were, we always had plenty to eat, good clothes on our back and a roof over our heads.
"Don't be greedy"; I heard growing up. Much of my pragmatism and thrifty nature come from my Scotch heritage but it also started at the dinner table: "don't let your eyes be bigger than your stomach" was the adage bestowed whenever we stopped by the Davis House Cafeteria. Although I never remember either of my parents say that waste is evil, I certainly got the idea from them.
Mom and Dad were both givers. Mom always gave hugs and after she retired she also gave sugar cookies (sometime I'll devote an entire blog to Mom's sugar cookies.....maybe a novel). Dad mostly has given his time and attention. Even today he still is very active in Church and his Homeowner's Association. Dad has always been a leader. Never dictatorial, but always in control of a group. In college I was taught a theory called "Situational Leadership" by a couple of higher education gurus named Hersey and Blanchard (basically some people are self starters and some people need to be kicked in the ass to varying degrees). To my surprise I already had learned "Situational Leadership" by observing my father as a leader. He called it "common sense". Boy Scouts, church, neighborhood, and (after retirement) Northside Hospital........Dad has always been willing to jump in. My older brother was always bothered that Dad "didn't do Little League with us" (never really an athlete, my dad) but he really did in his own way. He never coached (a smart move I think, having tried it myself) but I believe he knew his own limitations, and he always supported our desires to participate in sports. Practices and games; Dad and/or Mom were always there. To give without expectation of getting anything in return,,,,,,,,my parents by example (and another great subject for another day).
"Never take anything for granted". This was a theme always present. Thank God, your teachers, your parents, your relatives, your friends, and yes,,,,,,,,,even your older brother for all they do for you and give to you. Somewhere along the way I learned that we are all born naked. All we have is given unto us. We may earn a great deal of what we get but someone else always decides the pay rate. We may have allot but everything really belongs to God.
My folks always made lemonade when life gave us lemons. Mom taught me to sing with a joyful heart even though I've never learned to hold a tune. She whistled constantly. And everything was done with a smile. I used to hate any kind of yard work growing up; and Saturdays consisted of yard work. Mom, Dad and all three of us boys cutting grass, raking leaves, planting azaleas (Dad tried so hard to have a great lawn) etc.. I now understand how and why it was fun for them. For no other explainable reason I enjoy hard work.....especially around my yard and house. I was taught it was fun.....and it really is.
Many of the best things I learned from my parents were taught by example. Neither philosophized but they had great philosophies. Wonderful people my parents. I am truly one of the lucky ones.
stw
M&JW are my parents Marilyn and Jack Wheeler. These are things that I learned from them about how to live a good life and how I hope I live mine:
Both my parents stressed that we should always be nice to everyone and everything. Don't be mean or cruel ever. Treat others the way you like to be treated.......golden rule type thing.
I definitely got my work ethic from my folks. Mom was a professional. She graduated from a 4 year nursing program and was a Registered Nurse. She was also a full time housewife and mother. Dinner was always on the table at 5:30 on the dot. She washed and cleaned house daily. Dad has always defined himself (like most men) by his work and whatever he needed to do to provide for his family. And he did always manage to provide for us. If he wasn't working at the office he was working around the house. Dad has never been a "couch potato". No matter how difficult things were, we always had plenty to eat, good clothes on our back and a roof over our heads.
"Don't be greedy"; I heard growing up. Much of my pragmatism and thrifty nature come from my Scotch heritage but it also started at the dinner table: "don't let your eyes be bigger than your stomach" was the adage bestowed whenever we stopped by the Davis House Cafeteria. Although I never remember either of my parents say that waste is evil, I certainly got the idea from them.
Mom and Dad were both givers. Mom always gave hugs and after she retired she also gave sugar cookies (sometime I'll devote an entire blog to Mom's sugar cookies.....maybe a novel). Dad mostly has given his time and attention. Even today he still is very active in Church and his Homeowner's Association. Dad has always been a leader. Never dictatorial, but always in control of a group. In college I was taught a theory called "Situational Leadership" by a couple of higher education gurus named Hersey and Blanchard (basically some people are self starters and some people need to be kicked in the ass to varying degrees). To my surprise I already had learned "Situational Leadership" by observing my father as a leader. He called it "common sense". Boy Scouts, church, neighborhood, and (after retirement) Northside Hospital........Dad has always been willing to jump in. My older brother was always bothered that Dad "didn't do Little League with us" (never really an athlete, my dad) but he really did in his own way. He never coached (a smart move I think, having tried it myself) but I believe he knew his own limitations, and he always supported our desires to participate in sports. Practices and games; Dad and/or Mom were always there. To give without expectation of getting anything in return,,,,,,,,my parents by example (and another great subject for another day).
"Never take anything for granted". This was a theme always present. Thank God, your teachers, your parents, your relatives, your friends, and yes,,,,,,,,,even your older brother for all they do for you and give to you. Somewhere along the way I learned that we are all born naked. All we have is given unto us. We may earn a great deal of what we get but someone else always decides the pay rate. We may have allot but everything really belongs to God.
My folks always made lemonade when life gave us lemons. Mom taught me to sing with a joyful heart even though I've never learned to hold a tune. She whistled constantly. And everything was done with a smile. I used to hate any kind of yard work growing up; and Saturdays consisted of yard work. Mom, Dad and all three of us boys cutting grass, raking leaves, planting azaleas (Dad tried so hard to have a great lawn) etc.. I now understand how and why it was fun for them. For no other explainable reason I enjoy hard work.....especially around my yard and house. I was taught it was fun.....and it really is.
Many of the best things I learned from my parents were taught by example. Neither philosophized but they had great philosophies. Wonderful people my parents. I am truly one of the lucky ones.
stw
Friday, January 9, 2009
I get it........already in need of an editor
That wonderful wife of mine has pointed out just how badly I do spell. Therefore, I will (although it is an unnatural movement for me) to the best of my ability: press the spell check button before I exit any entries (postings, but I like the oxymoron). In all actuality, I did leave the misspelling of "collegiate" on purpose as sort of an illustration, but the other words left badly mangled were due to a sense of urgency to finish my original posting (someone came into my office).
stw
stw
To start with....
Ok......before I start rambling on about anything else.........I have a wonderful wife. She is soooooo wonderful. She is kind, sweet, cute, smart, sexy and she puts up with my rambling.
Now that I have bought into the prose of the 21st century.........a note to all who read this blog:
I ramble. I will do my very best to keep the rambling to a minimum but I see this as my place to ramble. That being said: I will occassionally offer my opinion.........I see this as my place to offer my opinion. Please don't be offended. I mean no offense. Offer your opinion also and do your best to change my mind. I'm quite open to change. I do think I'm right some of the time but I also am proven wrong quite often.
From time to time I may use somewhat colorful terminology that may resemble common obscenities. I don't usually talk or write this way but if the mood strikes sometimes it is hard to contain the emotions.
I can't spell "wurth schit" so I utilize a 1976 edition Webster's New Colligiate Dictionary (a High school graduation gift) for spelling, style and punctuation. I trust it more and can look things up faster then with spell check. I won't catch everything, and although I like to write correctly; time doesn't always allow for much proofreading.
JOIN IN! Good communication and kindness can save us all....
stw
Now that I have bought into the prose of the 21st century.........a note to all who read this blog:
I ramble. I will do my very best to keep the rambling to a minimum but I see this as my place to ramble. That being said: I will occassionally offer my opinion.........I see this as my place to offer my opinion. Please don't be offended. I mean no offense. Offer your opinion also and do your best to change my mind. I'm quite open to change. I do think I'm right some of the time but I also am proven wrong quite often.
From time to time I may use somewhat colorful terminology that may resemble common obscenities. I don't usually talk or write this way but if the mood strikes sometimes it is hard to contain the emotions.
I can't spell "wurth schit" so I utilize a 1976 edition Webster's New Colligiate Dictionary (a High school graduation gift) for spelling, style and punctuation. I trust it more and can look things up faster then with spell check. I won't catch everything, and although I like to write correctly; time doesn't always allow for much proofreading.
JOIN IN! Good communication and kindness can save us all....
stw
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