Am I just an old fart or do I just not get the world I live in? Wells Fargo agreed to pay a fine of 2 billion dollars (that's $2 million thousand if I have my zeros right) for wrongdoing that contributed to our last economic disaster. Then I learned that Citibank paid a similar fine of 6 billion and then I learned that Bank of America paid over a 16 billion dollar fine.
I cannot conceive how any company can sustain paying a 2 billion dollar fine and continue to conduct business as usual.
How many people were affected by this wrong doing? Why can't the fines be large enough to pay each family hurt something substantial? How can these companies be allowed to continue to conduct the same kind of business?
Business as usual. The rich keep getting richer on the backs of the working. When will we wise up?
Thursday, August 2, 2018
Friday, August 4, 2017
How to Survive the Nature of Being Good-Natured
One of my employees who is a very good-natured fellow got a call at work recently from his aunt asking him to come home and help her with something. Now "Joe" would do anything to help anyone without question (especially friends and family). He seemed somewhat stressed out about the call and when I asked if everything was alright he talked quite a bit about how his aunt could take care of it herself but never does, and how lonely she is, and how she needs to find more friends and call her other family , etc. . In short, he made up every reason he could think of to excuse her for asking him (again) to do what she could do herself. Subconsciously he did this so he would not feel badly for being exasperated about her call. After all........he really loves to help others out!
I know the feeling well. I consider myself to be a fairly good-natured guy and I too thrive on the good feelings one gets from being helpful. The problem is that some people tend to lean on others to the extent that they become dependent on it. Good-natured folks can be so easily taken advantage of that it becomes easy for others to ask, and when one "thrives" on helping out, it is easy to say yes whenever asked. This is not healthy for anyone. It leads to unconscious resentment. When the person doing their best to help out starts feeling resentful for being asked (so much!) they will often become angry at their friends, family and themselves! Not fun or good-natured people to be around at this point. Of course this is not what anyone intends.
When I discovered this about myself I learned that I had to get past the irrational anger and self-loathing. I first decided that it was okay to be a generally helpful person. In fact; I wish more people were more helpful. Next I decided that I wanted to live my life with people taking advantage of my good nature but not abusing it. Simple! Right? I have actually found it quite easy to tell people that "I want you to take advantage of my good nature but please don't abuse it". I don't usually do this unless I start to feel a little abused. At that point I can either speak up or allow the abuse. This is very important: If I allow someone to abuse my good nature I have made that choice myself and I cannot resent them for it!. I can certainly be a bit angry with myself if I truly feel I have done too much, but then again; my choice. I can really feel good about it if I choose. Positive empowerment.
stw
I know the feeling well. I consider myself to be a fairly good-natured guy and I too thrive on the good feelings one gets from being helpful. The problem is that some people tend to lean on others to the extent that they become dependent on it. Good-natured folks can be so easily taken advantage of that it becomes easy for others to ask, and when one "thrives" on helping out, it is easy to say yes whenever asked. This is not healthy for anyone. It leads to unconscious resentment. When the person doing their best to help out starts feeling resentful for being asked (so much!) they will often become angry at their friends, family and themselves! Not fun or good-natured people to be around at this point. Of course this is not what anyone intends.
When I discovered this about myself I learned that I had to get past the irrational anger and self-loathing. I first decided that it was okay to be a generally helpful person. In fact; I wish more people were more helpful. Next I decided that I wanted to live my life with people taking advantage of my good nature but not abusing it. Simple! Right? I have actually found it quite easy to tell people that "I want you to take advantage of my good nature but please don't abuse it". I don't usually do this unless I start to feel a little abused. At that point I can either speak up or allow the abuse. This is very important: If I allow someone to abuse my good nature I have made that choice myself and I cannot resent them for it!. I can certainly be a bit angry with myself if I truly feel I have done too much, but then again; my choice. I can really feel good about it if I choose. Positive empowerment.
stw
Friday, April 5, 2013
My mind has changed about guns!
Okay, some things have changed since I last wrote anything about guns. Specifically, but not limited to: Sandyhook and Aurora. Before these two incidents I was wavering about my personal need to own a gun. At the time I came to the conclusion that the reason I did not want a gun was because I just couldn't see the end game. I could not conceive the idea that I would have to shoot someone to protect what was mine or who I cared about and the eventual escalation of firepower would result in one king and lots of bodies.
That has changed.
James Holmes (Aurora Theater shooter) and Adam Lanza (Sandy Hook) had many things in common, not the least of which they were both paranoid schizophrenics. This means they both had a mental disease that made them.....let's just say crazy. Of course let us not forget they also both used semiautomatic weapons to kill lots of innocent people. The wake of these two incidents has emboldened the proponents for both more and less gun control.
It is easy to understand why some people would line up to get rid of as many guns as possible: Guns are designed and manufactured to kill. I find it much more difficult to wrap my head around why these events would make anyone feel we needed less restrictions on guns. True, if every administrator at the Sandy Hook school and every patron of the Aurora Theater was packing a weapon these events may not have been as tragic. Surely if the sheer knowledge that everyone was caring their own personal protection wasn't enough to intimidate these two madmen from their quests, then as soon as they started shooting someone (presumably a good marksman, trained to use the adrenalin coursing though their bodies to react with measured restraint and accuracy) would have stopped them in their tracks and fewer people possibly would have been killed and injured. So is that the sensible answer? Should everyone carry a gun at all times? Is that really what the writers of the Constitution had in mind: that everyone should carry a handgun, own an (or lots of) assault rifle and have enough ammo on hand to kill thousands of deer (or people)?
The utter irrationality of this makes me wonder............why do people like guns so much that they will cloud their minds to the point of such absurdity? I've read everything from "it is part of our culture" to "when someone threatens to take something away it becomes more valuable". There are a million reasons given to the question. The most popular is for personal protection. So most gun owners are paranoid. They want to be ready for the bad guy that will eventually be coming to get them, their family or their stuff. Very few gun enthusiasts; however, will admit that they like the idea of killing someone. After all: killing is wrong...........right?
I was taught from an early age: two wrongs never make a right, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, thou shalt not kill, turn the other cheek, it takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight than to fight one, and sticks and stone may break your bones but names can never hurt me. These are the things that morality is based on. So in order to sidestep the immorality of killing (a bad guy), there must be something else that makes some people love owning and shooting lots of guns. Perhaps it has to do with something as simple and basic as pushing a button or pulling a trigger here and making something happen over there. The first time a powederman pushes a plunger he gets a big thrill blowing up something a mile away. After he does it enough the rush is gone. It becomes routine. Isn't it the same with guns? Does the initial thrill of pulling a trigger and making a bottle explode or a can jump at 30 yards wear off with repetition? Does the childhood owner of a Daisy BB air rifle need to get a .22, then a 12 gauge, then an AR-15 then two or three more? Are guns just another opiate of the masses?
People who fear the government will take their guns, take over their lives, and make everyone subservient to a dictatorial leadership are simply paranoid. When paranoia and addiction are combined, mental stability cannot be maintained for long.
I don't and will not own a gun because I am not crazy. I'm not saying that everyone who owns a gun is crazy but with the morals and convictions I believe in: I would have to be crazy to to believe that shooting someone and having those convictions can coexist.
That has changed.
James Holmes (Aurora Theater shooter) and Adam Lanza (Sandy Hook) had many things in common, not the least of which they were both paranoid schizophrenics. This means they both had a mental disease that made them.....let's just say crazy. Of course let us not forget they also both used semiautomatic weapons to kill lots of innocent people. The wake of these two incidents has emboldened the proponents for both more and less gun control.
It is easy to understand why some people would line up to get rid of as many guns as possible: Guns are designed and manufactured to kill. I find it much more difficult to wrap my head around why these events would make anyone feel we needed less restrictions on guns. True, if every administrator at the Sandy Hook school and every patron of the Aurora Theater was packing a weapon these events may not have been as tragic. Surely if the sheer knowledge that everyone was caring their own personal protection wasn't enough to intimidate these two madmen from their quests, then as soon as they started shooting someone (presumably a good marksman, trained to use the adrenalin coursing though their bodies to react with measured restraint and accuracy) would have stopped them in their tracks and fewer people possibly would have been killed and injured. So is that the sensible answer? Should everyone carry a gun at all times? Is that really what the writers of the Constitution had in mind: that everyone should carry a handgun, own an (or lots of) assault rifle and have enough ammo on hand to kill thousands of deer (or people)?
The utter irrationality of this makes me wonder............why do people like guns so much that they will cloud their minds to the point of such absurdity? I've read everything from "it is part of our culture" to "when someone threatens to take something away it becomes more valuable". There are a million reasons given to the question. The most popular is for personal protection. So most gun owners are paranoid. They want to be ready for the bad guy that will eventually be coming to get them, their family or their stuff. Very few gun enthusiasts; however, will admit that they like the idea of killing someone. After all: killing is wrong...........right?
I was taught from an early age: two wrongs never make a right, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, thou shalt not kill, turn the other cheek, it takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight than to fight one, and sticks and stone may break your bones but names can never hurt me. These are the things that morality is based on. So in order to sidestep the immorality of killing (a bad guy), there must be something else that makes some people love owning and shooting lots of guns. Perhaps it has to do with something as simple and basic as pushing a button or pulling a trigger here and making something happen over there. The first time a powederman pushes a plunger he gets a big thrill blowing up something a mile away. After he does it enough the rush is gone. It becomes routine. Isn't it the same with guns? Does the initial thrill of pulling a trigger and making a bottle explode or a can jump at 30 yards wear off with repetition? Does the childhood owner of a Daisy BB air rifle need to get a .22, then a 12 gauge, then an AR-15 then two or three more? Are guns just another opiate of the masses?
People who fear the government will take their guns, take over their lives, and make everyone subservient to a dictatorial leadership are simply paranoid. When paranoia and addiction are combined, mental stability cannot be maintained for long.
I don't and will not own a gun because I am not crazy. I'm not saying that everyone who owns a gun is crazy but with the morals and convictions I believe in: I would have to be crazy to to believe that shooting someone and having those convictions can coexist.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Ten facts about the deficit that you won't hear Rush, Sean, Neal, Herman, Glenn or the GOP talk about
1. The deficit is actually shrinking.
2. The deficit grew under George W. Bush.
3. The deficit has grown in the last four years mostly due to the recession.
4. The stimuous cost much less than Bush's wars and tax cuts.
5. Investors are now paying us to borrow money.
6. Investors aren't running away. They are buying Treasury Bonds.
7. The Health Care Reform Act reduces the deficit.
8. The US is borrowing much less from Foreign countries now than before the recession.
9. We are spending 20% of the budget on defense.
10. We are spending 21% of the budget on healthcare.
2. The deficit grew under George W. Bush.
3. The deficit has grown in the last four years mostly due to the recession.
4. The stimuous cost much less than Bush's wars and tax cuts.
5. Investors are now paying us to borrow money.
6. Investors aren't running away. They are buying Treasury Bonds.
7. The Health Care Reform Act reduces the deficit.
8. The US is borrowing much less from Foreign countries now than before the recession.
9. We are spending 20% of the budget on defense.
10. We are spending 21% of the budget on healthcare.
I'm not looking but it's ok because I believe...
Why don't people open their eyes? Why do many people believe the loudest voice on the TV or radio? Why are the same mistakes made as history is ignored? There must be profit in it for someone. Not me; of course, I am in the lower half of the "middle class". One thing that President Obama, Mitt Romney, George Will, and most other national politicos have in common is that they are so out of touch they cannot conceive how much of a luxury going out for a $5 McDonald's lunch is for me. To realize evidence of this it is only necessary to listen to many who say that this or that government program or tax hurts small business people. Of course, the term "small business" includes many businesses that routinely trade over a million dollars. Of course; to them, I could be making $200,000 a year and still be considered "middle class". To me a small business is the mom and pop bookstore on 3rd street that has half a dozen employees. Most people don't think to ask what is meant by "small business" or "middle class" because they are too busy believing in someone or some philosophy.
I don't understand how anyone can believe that we can have the society we have without government regulation and by reducing taxes on those who can afford them most. I know it doesn't seem fair that Warren Buffet should have to pay a higher percentage of his money in taxes than me, but the aforementioned hamburger costs us both the same. If my taxes are a larger percentage of my available income (for food) than his, it affects me more. If we both routinely buy the $5 hamburger, I don't get to buy new shoes this year and he still gets to buy a new Rolls Royce. Many "middle class" people cannot afford new shoes at all.
The belief function of the brain and the thinking part of the brain are separate. You can't do both at the same time. This is a big part of the problem. When people start believing in someone or something they stop thinking. Remember that when your candidate of choice says something will hurt or help small businesses or the middle class: they cannot relate to what a small business or middle income level is to you and me.
Please people: stop believing and start thinking.
.
I don't understand how anyone can believe that we can have the society we have without government regulation and by reducing taxes on those who can afford them most. I know it doesn't seem fair that Warren Buffet should have to pay a higher percentage of his money in taxes than me, but the aforementioned hamburger costs us both the same. If my taxes are a larger percentage of my available income (for food) than his, it affects me more. If we both routinely buy the $5 hamburger, I don't get to buy new shoes this year and he still gets to buy a new Rolls Royce. Many "middle class" people cannot afford new shoes at all.
The belief function of the brain and the thinking part of the brain are separate. You can't do both at the same time. This is a big part of the problem. When people start believing in someone or something they stop thinking. Remember that when your candidate of choice says something will hurt or help small businesses or the middle class: they cannot relate to what a small business or middle income level is to you and me.
Please people: stop believing and start thinking.
.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Mom baked cookies
My mom loved everybody. Personal space be damned; mom was a hugger. Everybody knew my mom's smile and hugs and of course: her cookies.
Mom was a professional woman. She had a 4 year college degree and was a registered nurse. She only worked as a nurse when she needed to. She was always a full-time mother and housewife. I guess you could say she was liberated because she was free to do what she wanted; and what she wanted was to raise her boys and take care of her household. She loved housework. My mother ironed our tee shirts just for the joy of doing it! She also had dinner on the table promptly at 5:30 each night. Somewhere in there she found time to bake. Apple pie and strawberry shortcake were seasonal delights but brownies and cookies were regulars.
When my bothers and I grew up and moved away, mom retired from nursing and did volunteer work at Northside and North Fulton Hospital. She never let on to them that she was a nurse. This way she could care for people (the way she loved) in an environment she knew well, without any pressure. With a home that didn't have three growing boys and their friends constantly messing it up, and with a whole lot less laundry to do, mom baked more. She settled on sugar cookies.
Now Mom wasn't the greatest baker in the World. She did cook with a whole lot of love and it came through even when the edges were a bit brown and the texture somewhat overly crunchy (hard as rocks). Of course, Mom firmly believed a cold glass of milk could fix any miscalculation in baking times. The fact is: she didn't pay a whole lot of attention to baking times and everything got baked at 350 degrees.
I'm not really sure where the sugar cookie recipe Mom used came from. When I was small and insecure Mom's form of therapy involved teaching me to bake brownies or chocolate chip cookies which she never used a written recipe for (I think that this is why she never baked bread). The improvisational method of baking has it's successes and failures but I never remember a bad batch of brownies. Until later in life though sugar cookies were reserved for Chirstmas cutout cookies. Between having to wait for the dough to chill, adding lots of food coloring and decorating with colored nonpareils, sugar cookies were a major production to be eagerly anticipated. Still never a recipe. Sometimes they were hard and sometimes the green Christmas trees looked like they had the blight, but they were always tasty. When she "retired" and sugar cookies became a weekly thing for Mom she actually wrote down her recipe and Dad sent it in to a magazine contest which she won. Even after that I don't think she ever referred to her own recipe. It was this, that and a pinch of something else. Chill the dough, cut them out (simple rounds now) throw them in a 350 degree oven for awhile. Nothing fancy, but they filled the cookie jar.
That cookie jar never stayed full though. If you visited Mom and Dad's the cookie jar came off the fridge and you had a cookie. Most likely you left with a bag of cookies. The mailman got cookies. The UPS man left with cookies. The flower delivery person (Dad loved to send Mom flowers as often as he could afford to) left with cookies. The preacher and every neighbor knew my Mom's sugar cookies. She did venture out once in awhile and try molasses cookies (my Grandmother's specialty) ginger snaps, or snickerdoodles. But she always came back to sugar cookies and everybody got them.
When my mom died peacefully in her sleep we had to decide upon a vessel of some sort to put her ashes in for the memorial/interment service. Even though we thought it might raise a few eyebrows, there was really only one thing we could use: her cookie jar. At the funeral when the pall was removed and there sat Mom's earthly remains inside her cookie jar, there was not a murmur, chuckle or any little old ladies gasping to be heard. There were a whole bunch of smiles though. Everyone knew Mom baked cookies.
Now Mom wasn't the greatest baker in the World. She did cook with a whole lot of love and it came through even when the edges were a bit brown and the texture somewhat overly crunchy (hard as rocks). Of course, Mom firmly believed a cold glass of milk could fix any miscalculation in baking times. The fact is: she didn't pay a whole lot of attention to baking times and everything got baked at 350 degrees.
I'm not really sure where the sugar cookie recipe Mom used came from. When I was small and insecure Mom's form of therapy involved teaching me to bake brownies or chocolate chip cookies which she never used a written recipe for (I think that this is why she never baked bread). The improvisational method of baking has it's successes and failures but I never remember a bad batch of brownies. Until later in life though sugar cookies were reserved for Chirstmas cutout cookies. Between having to wait for the dough to chill, adding lots of food coloring and decorating with colored nonpareils, sugar cookies were a major production to be eagerly anticipated. Still never a recipe. Sometimes they were hard and sometimes the green Christmas trees looked like they had the blight, but they were always tasty. When she "retired" and sugar cookies became a weekly thing for Mom she actually wrote down her recipe and Dad sent it in to a magazine contest which she won. Even after that I don't think she ever referred to her own recipe. It was this, that and a pinch of something else. Chill the dough, cut them out (simple rounds now) throw them in a 350 degree oven for awhile. Nothing fancy, but they filled the cookie jar.
That cookie jar never stayed full though. If you visited Mom and Dad's the cookie jar came off the fridge and you had a cookie. Most likely you left with a bag of cookies. The mailman got cookies. The UPS man left with cookies. The flower delivery person (Dad loved to send Mom flowers as often as he could afford to) left with cookies. The preacher and every neighbor knew my Mom's sugar cookies. She did venture out once in awhile and try molasses cookies (my Grandmother's specialty) ginger snaps, or snickerdoodles. But she always came back to sugar cookies and everybody got them.
When my mom died peacefully in her sleep we had to decide upon a vessel of some sort to put her ashes in for the memorial/interment service. Even though we thought it might raise a few eyebrows, there was really only one thing we could use: her cookie jar. At the funeral when the pall was removed and there sat Mom's earthly remains inside her cookie jar, there was not a murmur, chuckle or any little old ladies gasping to be heard. There were a whole bunch of smiles though. Everyone knew Mom baked cookies.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Really stupid stuff..........
As I read the paper today I came across (as I often do) several items in the news that are just plain stupid.
Now stupid is word I use lightly (it would be stupid not to do so). It was one of those words I taught my kids to never use; however, the experience of my advanced age has convinced me that stupidity does exist and should be discussed with the hope of eliminating some of it from the World.
I have decided; therefore, to create a list of things I find really stupid and explain why I feel that way (as time allows).
The list so far:
The Chik-fil-a controversy.
The uproar about where the USA Olympic uniforms were made.
The "need" to personally own assault weapons and justify it Constitutionally.
People who support the "right to life" yet are also warmongers.
Trickle down theory.
Long drawn out trials for people whose guilt is not in doubt.
The amount of money spent on elections.
"the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term President.” Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader.
President Obama agreeing to kill a US citizen (terrorist) abroad rather then bring him back to the US for trial.
The criminalization of teenagers for possession of alcohol at 18.
Please feel free to add to my list. Please don't load me up with things you just don't like. I don't like black-eyed peas but they really are not stupid in anyway. Remember: this is my list and my opinion. Don't take it personally. If you disagree, tell me why. You just might teach me something.
stw
Now stupid is word I use lightly (it would be stupid not to do so). It was one of those words I taught my kids to never use; however, the experience of my advanced age has convinced me that stupidity does exist and should be discussed with the hope of eliminating some of it from the World.
I have decided; therefore, to create a list of things I find really stupid and explain why I feel that way (as time allows).
The list so far:
The Chik-fil-a controversy.
The uproar about where the USA Olympic uniforms were made.
The "need" to personally own assault weapons and justify it Constitutionally.
People who support the "right to life" yet are also warmongers.
Trickle down theory.
Long drawn out trials for people whose guilt is not in doubt.
The amount of money spent on elections.
"the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term President.” Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader.
President Obama agreeing to kill a US citizen (terrorist) abroad rather then bring him back to the US for trial.
The criminalization of teenagers for possession of alcohol at 18.
Please feel free to add to my list. Please don't load me up with things you just don't like. I don't like black-eyed peas but they really are not stupid in anyway. Remember: this is my list and my opinion. Don't take it personally. If you disagree, tell me why. You just might teach me something.
stw
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